Some days, I just don’t know who my parents are anymore. One thing I DO know, they aren’t the same people who raised me. It started when my child was born. I noticed when raising her that these people were a bit different than those I’d known for the first 18 years of my life. But I was busy and didn’t pay it much mind.
When my grandboys came along, I began to think that perhaps different people were inhabiting the bodies and minds of my folks – but since these were MY grandboys, and they could do NO wrong – I was fine with whoever these interlopers were. However, over the past couple of weeks, I can only assume that UFO’s and aliens are real – and they have taken over the bodies and minds of the people that I know as Momma and Daddy. Let me explain…
Gene has a tough life – but somebody has to guard the kitchen!
Daddy and Momma got a new dog. It seems that the animal shelter in town was full and overflowing, and what with them (Momma and Daddy) at home now that they’ve retired – they have more time to pay attention to these stories on the news. So, after a bit of pondering – off they go to the shelter to “just look”. Now you know how this is going to turn out. After a couple of trips, they return with Gene. Gene is still a pup. He’s huge. He’s part golden retriever, part yellow lab. He was voluntarily turned in to the shelter and we believe was mistreated. At the very least he has abandonment issues. So, basically – they have a humongous toddler with self esteem issues in need of antidepressants and therapy. But, he’s a sweetie, and everyone fell in love. Momma, Daddy and my little nephew (he’s over 6 ft, a teacher and stays with Momma and Daddy), now have a new addition to the family – and all is well. That is until their annual vacation comes up. They were going to leave Gene with the other 2 family members staying home, Freddina the cat (named after my Dad), and Pico the rat-dog. That all changed when Gene came in to the living room with a rather large piece of baseboard in his mouth. Seems his chew toys were just not doing it for him anymore. Since the folks wanted a house to come back to – they had to go to Plan B.
Enter the Doggie Hotel. My little nephew searches the web and finds out that PetSmart has a pet hotel and this would be a wonderful place for Gene to spend his “vacation”, and Momma and Daddy agree. These are the same people who wouldn’t let our dog come in during a tornado when we were kids. We had to sneak the poor thing in the back and hide him under the table with us. Anyway, I digress. So after finding out the details, the terrible trio go to PetSmart to check out the facilities. (They left Gene at home so as not to traumatize him unnecessarily).
Upon arrival, they were shown the hotel “rooms” for the large dogs. LN (Little Nephew) decides that Gene will not be comfortable for a whole week in a single room, so he upgrades to a suite. This way Gene gets a larger room with a cot to sleep/nap on as well as a TV, I kid you not. And to top it off, my Daddy asks the lady what type of programming they show for the dogs. He wanted to be sure that Gene wasn’t subjected to inappropriate content. Upon hearing this I asked “What did you think Daddy, that they’d be showing Doggie Porn?” At this point, nothing is going to surprise me.
After being assured that appropriate content is shown on the tv they move on. The next perk is that Gene will be allowed to use the “Bone Booth”, this is a special phone booth that my folks can use to call Gene as often as they’d like so that they can hear each others voices! I think I’ve heard it all now. But wait…there’s more. LN also wants Gene to have daily “Play Time” with the other dogs his age, as well as 2 snacks a day (his evening snack is doggie ice cream).
You are thinking that I’m lyin – right. The Lord as my witness – this is the honest truth! And there’s more…but that’s for another day. Check back to find out how Gene fared during his “vacation”.